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Love the One You ARE!

Kelley McElreath


One of the greatest lessons I think a person can learn is how to love themselves. I lost my mom when I was only 23 and it was one of the most devastating experiences of my entire life. She loved me SO much and I looked to her to fulfill my need for love more than I could have ever realized before her death.

It has taken me many years to learn how to love myself and it is still a work in progress. My mom used to pat me on the back three times when she was hugging me or on the leg if she was sitting next to me. She didn't have to say any words. Just the three little pats and the look in her eyes said everything. When she did this, I just knew that somehow, everything was going to be okay.

Now, it might sound silly to you, but sometimes, I give myself three little pats. And you know what, I actually feel better, every single time! Many things and maybe many individuals can make us feel loved. I can see my children and they bring me so much joy and happiness. But once they leave and go back to their own lives, an emptiness will still remain.

There is an old song that says,

"Love the one your with"

I say,


At some point, the younger you experienced a trauma. It helps when you are trying to figure out how to love yourself, to think of yourself at that age. When you are needing some extra love, just think of that little girl, or boy, and say out loud, "I love you." It sounds silly, I know, but I have done this so many times and you will be very surprised at how much it helps.

How do you show YOURSELF love? I would love to know and have you share it with others!!

You can contact me anytime at thesurvivorcoach@gmail.com

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