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Surviving Survival — manic depression

The Depressed Cheater

Kelley McElreath affairs Alone anxiety attempted suicide survivor cheaters cheating depression Isolation liars manic depression Marriage Men player suicidal Suicide

The Depressed Cheater

  Have you ever been lied to or cheated on? I have. The year my divorce was finalized, I would have been married 20 years. I was told many lies during those years. And honestly, I was married to a really great guy, or so I thought. At first, the lies were small. Or, maybe he was just a really good liar and I just didn't catch the big ones for a long time. Over the years, what I realized was that each time he was caught in anything, there was a pattern. He would get busted, we would fight,...

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I'm Not Concerned About Your SALVATION

Kelley McElreath Alone anxiety attempted suicide survivor Chaotic Brain church depression fundamentalists Loneliness manic depression Mental Health pastors preachers Suicide suicidesurvivor Teen Depression Teen suicide Triggers

I'm Not Concerned About Your SALVATION

"Nobody can save you but yourself,and you’re worth saving.It’s a war not easily won,but if anything is worth winning, then this is it." -Charles Bukowski   I grew up thinking I needed to be saved and once I was "saved" it had to be my mission in life to save everyone else. I then went on to go to church for many, many years and it didn't take long to become just like most every other Christian I knew. Looking back, I somehow thought I was better than others, who were not "saved." I became judgemental. I became a gossiper....

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Could Chaos be Your Motivator?

Kelley McElreath Anti-depressants anxiety attempted suicide survivor Chaos Chaotic Brain Depression manic depression Manic Monday Mental Health PTSD Sadness

Could Chaos be Your Motivator?

“One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche If you are anything like me, sometimes, your brain gets completely out of control and throws you into a tailspin of worry and doubt which then leads to several days of depressive thoughts and a really bad mindset.  I've heard that some people actually like chaos and that they live for it. I am not that person. However, I have found recently that my mind, in fact, can be chaotic. I would say this is about the 4th time I...

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When Sadness Speaks

Kelley McElreath Anti-depressants anxiety attempted suicide survivor Depression manic depression Medication Mental Health PTSD Sadness

“The emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals it...” ~Nicholas Sparks I've been blogging and doing some podcasts lately about me coming off all medication. No more anti-depressants. This is my fourth attempt and hoping final attempt. You can see my last post about the difficulties I have had with it here http://bit.ly/2n4EFK5  One of the things I hated about taking medication is that it made me completely apathetic. I don't think I ever even realized the meaning of the word until I started taking Wellbutrin. There were countless times my teenage daughters would be...

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To Medicate or Not Medicate, THAT is the Question!

Kelley McElreath Anti-depressants anxiety attempted suicide survivor Depression manic depression Medication Mental Health PTSD Sadness

“Surviving isn't around us, but in us.” ~Shannon Alder I wish I could remember the exact date I stopped taking my anti-depressants. I know it has been somewhere between 4 - 5 months total. This is my fourth time attempting this over the past 4 years. So I guess I try it once a year roughly. The first 8-10 weeks or so are always fantastic! Everything goes so smoothly and I feel fine for the most part. I did a podcast where I talk about coming off medication and you can listen to it here, http://bit.ly/2nldASf . Week 12 comes along...

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